Non-Monogamy and You

Non-Monogamy and You

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Non-Monogamy and You


Non-monogamy has always been a part of humanity’s experience. It still is for most of us, though we might not realize it. Non-exclusive dating, friends with benefits, remarrying, couples who have an occasional threesome, unplanned spiciness with others while on vacation, open marriages – these are just a few examples of people’s experiences today. Non-monogamy is far more prevalent than some might think. In North America, as in most civilizations, non-monogamy in one form or another is the norm, not the exception.

Even though non-monogamy is widely practiced, each person’s exploration and expression is as individual as they are. That’s what makes it a uniquely personal experience, and why it can vary so much from one person to another. This is what makes it your own story.

Whether you’re just curious about non-monogamy or you want to explore it, realize it’s not an either/or proposition in which you’re either monogamous or you’re not. You’ve likely already had more than one sexual partner in your life, so the extreme of being strictly monogamous probably doesn’t describe you. Similarly, it’s likely that the opposite extreme – one in which you seek to have a new partner in every sexual encounter – also doesn’t describe you. Your story is likely somewhere between those two extremes. Somewhere that feels right, for you.

And that’s the key to this journey: Explore what interests you, and do it your way.

While one might ask, “what’s it like” or “what’s available,” a more pertinent question for you is what do you seek? Sexiness can take a variety of forms for you and your partner. You might choose to spend an evening at a club that’s known for its sexually charged atmosphere, and possibly get into some flirty couple-to-couple dancing. You might seek an erotic encounter with your own partner, but in the presence of another special couple, watching and being watched. You and your mate might want to interact with another, or others. It could be a single woman, a single man, another couple, or more – whatever stirs you. Also, the nature of your interaction with others can be as varied as your imagination.

What you and your partner welcome into your experience is entirely your choice. Hot dancing? Sizzling kisses? Erotic touching? Some form of sexual interaction? It’s whatever inspires you.

Something I recommend to couples who are about to set out on this journey, is to understand what each of you are seeking and what you’ll welcome into your experience. Do this with just you and your partner, in the privacy of your own home. It’s important that both of you know each of your comfort zones and that you respect them.

Letting it Happen…

How you move forward in your sensual journey is much more a matter of “allowing” than “making.” You and your mate have chosen what you want to explore, and you know each other’s comfort zones. Others are also on a similar journey, and they too are wondering how to find similarly minded people, like you. When compatible people connect, regardless if it’s socially or sensually, they soon discover how easily they get along. They share common interests and desires. They feel like they’re already “on the same page.” When that happens, things naturally and comfortable evolve in a commonly desired direction, without the need to convince or encourage someone.

A significant next step is to discover a venue that’s suitable for your exploration, as well as finding compatible people to join you. The GTA has about 15 adult clubs that cater to this interest, and they are an excellent place to start. My personal favorite is X Club. It’s upscale, discrete (they also prohibit cameras and recording devices), and it’s “members only,” so you can be sure that patrons are similarly inclined. Their drinks are also reasonably priced. Each adult club has its own distinct character and feel, but their common trait is they offer an environment where you can get together with like-minded people to meet, socialize, and possibly even experience some spontaneous sizzle. X Club also periodically hosts “Meet ‘n Greet” events. These are no-pressure, no-expectations events in which attendees’ get together just to meet people and socialize.

Other options include adult-only vacation resorts such as Desire, Hedonism, and Temptations. They’re usually top-optional or clothing-optional, so there’s a sexy vibe in the air all day and all night long.

The Internet also offers a wealth of virtual meeting places and discussion forums, where you can explore the possibilities from the comfort of your own home. X Club’s own (and free) “The X Club Lounge” is an online community where you can meet and connect with others.

All these places – clubs, vacations resorts, and online venues – represent great opportunities. What you do with them is up to you!

What’s Next?

This is your journey. You tell us! Leave a comment below and let us know your thoughts. We look forward to hearing from you.

Wishing you all you desire, and more!

Steven X

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